so katie said she read my blogger (wow) and felt it was too depressing.
well i'm sorry, if i'm happy, i'm happy.
when i'm sad, i like to whine, bitch, complain, etc...
i know venting should encompass good and bad things but the word"venting" completely has a negative connotation in my head.

i watched 25th hour today. i really like spike lee movies. it's so risque (i never used this word before but it sounds right word?).
every single movie this guy directs seems to always be about nyc or brooklyn. NICE.

in this movie he pretty much ran through a whole lotta stereotypes. i could identify with all of them. scary huh?
i especially love the BENSONHURST one. john palmeiro, and joey leston. i was thinkin about you fooz =D.

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today i didn't realize how intensive doing focus team is going to end up being. i'm kind of scared at the prospect of being prez of LphiE and focus team.
i care about both so much but i'm just awaiting that inevitable day they both conflict with each other. the day of judgement. the day i judge/decide which is important to me.
i refuse to put myself in that situation.

you know, i feel extreme pressure at times. people keep telling me that i was placed on focus team because of my creative abilities.
HAH!
where did they get that from?
i don't feel creative at all, yet i'm trying to live up to my billing, or else i feel like i'm one of them false advertisements. fake. useless.

i realize i tend to dominate small group settings when there is not another dominating "male" figure and therefore i'm brimming with confidence.
when there is another outgoing guy, i tend to kinda creep back into shy-jhs-david mode.
as much as people think i'm outgoing, i'm more shy than you can ever imagine.
you think i'm wrong?
i guess you don't know me.