I CAN SPEAK GYPSY!

yo. so this is why i miss home.

today i'm sittin on the train riding back from uptown after meeting up with ebyun. i got one of them corner seats near where the conductor is, you know, the double seater. this guy sits down next to me. the whole ride, he says nuttin to me. nuttin. nada.

zippo.

finally we get into brooklyn after crossing the bridge and he starts talkin to me. he offers to buy my cell offa me for 150 bucks. i ask why. he says he's got bad credit. i say ask a friend to help you. he says none of his friends trust him. i question whether he can really call them friends then. lo and behold, one of his friends is sitting across from us and goes:

yeah, he's a piece of $hit. don't listen to him. he still owes me 50 bucks.

he keeps trying to buy my cell from me and i'm like hell no. he then asks if i want to buy his 91' chevy from him. runs perfect he says. his friend goes:

don't listen to him. that car sucks d!ck. it's worthless.

this was getting fun so we start conversatin. he says he likes me. he asks if i have a girlfriend. i say no. he asks do i want one. im like what? he says he'll get me a woman. real cheap. 40 bucks tops.

he then offers his female friend to me. says no questions asked. she's been sitting there the whole time and i didn't even notice. she's like: shutup.

finally i hear them talking in a diff language so i ask them what lang they speaking. he says gypsy. i thought that was cool. i teach them a lil chinese, they start teaching me gypsy. and i guess i'm good at pronouncing it cuz they kept making me say these gypsy phrases and kept getting a kick out of it.

all i wanted to know was how to say hi and bye. but one guy told me how to say one thing to his friend, and then his friend would teach me how to say something new to the guy. i think they made me curse in gypsy back and forth.

who cares. i thought this was freaKiN hilarious. these guys were saying all this stuff and tried convincing me of this and that. saying he needed the cell because all his women need to call him. he's like, what do you think of me? i'm like:

i think ur full of $hit.

hahaha. he got so mad but his friend cracked up. then i said the same thing to the friend. then they both stared at me. that was the one scary part of this whole situation.

so near the end of my ride he tried giving me that girl. she tells me they're dumbasses. that in gypsy, the women are the pimps, and these two losers were the wh0res. she then offered to give me a psychic reading. !!!!!! Hah!!!!

it was funny listening to them argue. so he tries giving me that gypsy girl. i was like, nah it's ok.

THEN the girl starts joining in. going: what?? you don't like me? are you saying i'm ugly? look at my breasts damnit! LOOK AT THEM!

as the train pulled up to my kingsway station, look i did, and thought to myself, damn, those are huge. and walked out.

"have a good one" i said.

and i was gone.