i'm sick of what this world demands of you. i can't even begin to write this because i know it'll just be a jumbled mess of uncertain thoughts mis-timed emotions. maybe ur strong. i'm not. when the world whispers this and that? it sounds like a blow horn in my ear. and yes, sometimes it's a sneaky little bastard that repeats itself in a soft caressing seductive voice, seeping into my head as sleep. i surprise myself. and when i rethink, reconfigure, reanalyze, reevaluate i realizE... i knew it all along, i just didn't care enough to THINK, to CONSIDER. why am i slave. why is it that when i recognize the potential for disingenious actions i can't make a choice. i freeze. i...take the easy way out.

even when the easy way out is just as hard as the easy way in.

it's like the guy who has everything and realizes he's still unsatisfied. he sees the world from another perspective. i am not that person. i am the guy who sees everything unfolding before him, and not being able to do a single thing about it.

talk about weakness.

talk about lack of self.