so today i slept at 5am in the morning and had to wake up at 7am to work concessions for AAIV. i ended up going late though and showed up at 8. i can't believe i slept through 3 alarms. northwestern lost, so what else is new?

i just had the weirdest moment on the phone with my parents. my mom called me up and woke me from crash out nap after returning from concessions at 5 (close to 9 hr shift!). she started talking to me about my grandmother..her mom..and how she was really sick...and how she'll probably die soon. she kept repeating: that's just the fact of life, you get old and then you die. it bugged me because in the back of my mind i felt like she wanted me to console her since she knows i'm christian, to give her a sense of reassurance that there will be an afterlife or something to look forward to. but i kept silent.

i didn't know what to say!

i don't think my grandma ever believed in jesus...how can i tell my grandma was going to heaven if i really don't know. god, i wish i knew the words in chinese to explain my faith to them better but usually the language barrier leads me to just stay silent in resignation. do u know how horrible that makes me feel?

maybe it was the guilt of having just heard the news and knowing that my mom needed some cheering up-ing, or maybe immature dave has turned over a new leaf, i stayed on the line to listen to her stories about her day and was genuinely interested. in the past i think i was always very business-like with her on the phone. kinda like a phone nazi. if she needed me to sign some forms, or mail something to her...etc that was the only time i wanted her to call, other than that i felt it was pointless talking cause i had 'work' to do. but today, for the life of me i don't know what it was, everything she had to tell me about her job and what happened during her day sounded really interesting. i know she complains to my sister all the time how i'm so unreceptive on the phone and how wonders why i never call just to 'talk.'

at one point i think she got so weirded out she was about to end our conversation because she wanted this pristine moment to last and end it off on a good note before it turned sour but to her surprise---i think, i continued to ask her more questions and we kept talking and she sounded happy on the phone. that's cool i guess, that made it worth it cause i know what she's going through. she really loves my grandma, like a lot a lot a lot a lot. and i mean, ofcourse everyone loves their own mommy but she really LOVES HER. gosh, i dunno how to explain it.

anyway, afterwards i talked to my dad and it was a pretty chill convo. that was surprising as well. i think i take my parents for granted sometimes. i am SUCH A BUM.