i can't seem to win with my dad. today i was trying to do something nice for my family by cooking kimchi bokumbap for dinner. my aunts are leaving tomorrow and i'm going out the next few days so this was the last night i would be able able to eat with my family.

ofcourse my dad has to be in a bad mood because of one of the tenants and starts rushing me to finish the food. i'm sort of a perfectionist when it comes to cooking and i was tasting it as i was cooking but it wasn't coming out the way i wanted so i was cutting up more kimchi to put in the bokumbap. my mom can't eat too spicy stuff so he kept complaining i was putting in too much but i said it was fine. finally after 10-15 minutes of constant yelling and holding bowls in my face to simply serve it since everyone was waiting for me, i snapped. he yelled at me for putting in even moer kimchi because i'm trying to "kill everyone" in chinese. i know it's just a phrase but i finally reached by breaking point and just walked away and said forget it, i don't want to cook anymore and just went to my room.

i can't believe a night that was suppose to just be me doing something special for my family so that they would appreciate it would turn into a night where i'm supremely pissed off at my dad. i guess i try to rationalize it but thinking maybe he was having a bad day cause i heard him arguing with a tenant on he phone and that he had to rush out soon to go meet them but that still doesn't give him the right to take it out on me.

wtf.

i don't know anymore...