so yeah, i just watched TEAM AMERICA the movie. it was pretty funny. i also bought 20 bucks of sushi and udon noodle soup cause today has been a horrible and emotionally draining day.

i wish it were a really life altering, life defining moment u know? like i WANT it to be but i can't even commit to even that belief of want. it's so frustrating.

kim jong il, facist dictator/tyrant sings a lonely song. how ironic.

i was walkin to tech and i just realized i have no close friends and all my close friends are too far and too out of the loop to even understand what's going on with my life. i really miss my friends from back home. i don't think i ever appreciated certain people before but chewy if u read this, i'm glad we grew up together cuz ur like a brother to me now.

and while everyone is on the eastcoast ima stuck in the midwest. and don't take it personally..those people who i have befriended in the midwest..it's not that you guys haven't been good friends or whatever but it's just simply hard to share my feelings with people.

it's like how during newstudent week/orientation for your respective schools. when you have to meet freshmen to recruit them for your org or rush them for your frat/sorority. it's just so fucking emotionally draining that by your senior year it's almost impossible to be excited about it. it's too hard for me to make friends these days. it's like i made friends already for four years in college and i have barely anything to show for it. (once again, don't take this personally for those who feel like we're close)

my sister always told me how lucky i was to have friends i've known since elementary, JHS, and HS. she thinks i'm so lucky to have a group of friends to come home to.

yet i hardly ever do go home...ironically yea?

this year i've been in my own little bubble. lambdas think i do too much campus/AAIV stuff. AAIV people probably think i party too much from all my pictures on xanga. essentially what that leads me with is two groups of people thinking i'm slighting them, or a better word might be DISSING them---essentially leading me to be aloof and on the sidelines on everything.

which is fine u know. whatever. all these people getting mad at me for this and that..it's so trivial. i'm graduating and to be honest all this stuff should not phase me. it's when i'm in the real world..that's when i'll know who my true friends are.

until that day i bid u adieu.